Alton Towers, Stoke-On-Trent

Beard likes to get his money worth with things like this, so despite promising the kids numerous times that we would one day go to Alton Towers, he had absolutely no intention until Finn reached optimal height. Poor little sod. For about two years he measured himself hoping one day soon his dream would come true. But despite going to bed early in the hope he would grow, he still wasn’t quite big enough, and Beard would say “no mate, we aren’t going. I’m not paying all that money to go round with you on the spinning cups…” so as soon as Finn reached the milestone height of 1.4 metres, I booked!

The kids nearly wet themselves with excitement when we said we were going. Moreover, even better for them – when we said we were going without Austyn, which meant it was a “grown-up” day with no ‘poo pit-stops’ getting in the way as Josh calls them.

The downside was that the Airbnb accommodation I booked was a bit further than I thought. Who knew Shropshire isn’t near Stoke-On-Trent…?!?!!
Also who would have realised that I cleverly booked one day at the waterpark and the following day, had inadvertently booked for the actual theme park… Beard was not best pleased when we had to do the three hour round trip two days on the trot however it has got me out of ever planning a weekend break again 🙂
What can I say? I’m geographically challenged, but if you want to stay in a beautiful, quirky off-grid place in Shropshire (which is NOWHERE near Alton Towers, take a look at our holiday break here).

Screen Shot 2017-11-21 at 15.01.27The one thing I don’t think Beard had considered is the price… at £32.50 an adult and £27.50 a child, it’s not a cheap day out. Plus £24 for all your pictures using the Digipass bolt-on and of course the cost of the waterpark at £15 an adult and £10.50 for a child. Oh and then there’s the extraordinary golf; £6 an adult and £5 a child.

Of course, thinking ahead the kids are also going to want to go on those silly games where you win a soft toy bigger than your house For your information, that costs £20 per child – but gives them £50 of games vouchers.
So all in, you book for a day and your £257.00 lighter… oh and then there was the £20 each in the gift shop, the obligatory refillable drinks, sugar doughnuts and bag of sweets, plus dinner in The Rollercoaster Restaurant. So add another £140 plus more if you decide to go for Fast Track Thus bringing it to a grand total of £397.00 for a family of four*
*at time of booking August 2017

I’m pretty sure Beard was crying as we drove up there and he asked the shuddering question “so how much did this set us back then?”

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Screen Shot 2017-11-21 at 15.05.23There’s one thing I’ve never realised before. You see, I LOVE rides, rollercoasters and being flung all over the place. Primarily I shit my pants at the time but then go back for more. Furthermore, I’ve always come off a ride laughing, so I thought I enjoyed this kind of thing, but apparently, my face doesn’t!
In most of the pictures, I look as if I’m being tested on by Aliens and pulling a weirdly demented expression.
You know that point where you come off the ride and walk through to the screens to view your photographs? I could feel everyone looking round to see who the imbecile was. And there I was, standing with two mortified kids next to me, just shaking their heads and uttering “at least it’s not your Mum…”
As the day went on, the embarrassment got worse because Beard somehow managed to put his back out on one of the rides. This meant he could hardly turn his head, had an unusually straight back and an awkward sort of limp going on. We looked like the funny family to avoid, that’s for sure.

The rides at Alton Towers are next-level scary. I’m not entirely sure how the kids managed to survive some of them, but Finn was determined to conquer The Big Six Challenge, and I can confirm they were defeated! By doing all of the mega rides you even get free tickets for your next visit BUT everyone in your group needs to download the app and each of you have to scan the barcode at the end of the ride or it doesn’t apply. We didn’t realise this 🙁

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Alton Towers was an expensive day out, but it was a fantastic day out all the same. In Josh’s mind, it’s been the best day out for a long time! Even Beard with his old man back and me with my deranged, unhinged face enjoyed it. We’ve made incredible memories, so it’s actually a small price to pay, and we can’t wait to come back in December for Austyns CBeebies Christmas experience.

Plus where on earth can you go to a restaurant like this?!

2 thoughts on “Alton Towers, Stoke-On-Trent”

  1. I had a picture taken and was given a card with the details with a barcode and that I was meant to pick them up at the end but forgot

    1. Oh no! I hate that! I also had this experience when we went to Thomas Land and without that info, they can’t find the image 🙁 So frustrating.

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