Bio Oil

Stretch marks are very common and do not only affect pregnant women, they can occur at any time when the body increases in size relatively quickly and can affect men and women of all ages and races.

My stretch marks are from two previous pregnancies and whilst they are not horrendous, sometimes when on holiday, or at the gym/spa, I do get a little bit self conscious of them as they are noticeable silvery/white lines.
Now that I am pregnant with baby number 3, I do not want these stretch marks to get any worse, nor do I want to be blessed with anymore. Signs of love some women call them. Bull crap. They’re bloody horrid little blighters!

The lovely people at Bio Oil found out that I was expecting and asked if I would review their stretch mark oil and document the results along the way with an honest review of their product.

Apologies, but I am doing this for research purposes and therefore must post the before, during and after pictures so if it offends you or makes you gag with disgust, go to a blog where you can see airbrushed fake ideas of what the perfect woman in her 30-somethings looks like

Disclaimer: Due to the appearance of stretch marks, it was difficult to get the lighting correct so that you could see the stretch marks properly with accuracy to judge the results. In the following images, some areas look worse than others (due to this lighting issue) and in real life do not appear as bad as the images suggest however this does not affect the review in anyway.

Now that I am pregnant again, the stretch marks on my boobs seem to have become less noticeable but you can still see some of the deeper stretch marks are really quite visible. The purply lines almost appear like craters.
Which is nice.
I’m really glad I’m pregnant again and can enjoy some more Freddy Kruger craters all over my body…

My thighs are a real trouble area. They are very wide (the stretch marks not my thighs…) and really quite deep on the upper inner area. The skin within the stretch mark itself is paper thin with a tinge of a red/purple colour.Please note: Yes I am wearing leopard print boy boxer pants because I am embracing the fact that soon enough my husband will no longer find me attractive… and NO I do not have dry skin on my inner thigh – it is the lighting in the photo…


My tummy also has stretch marks however I am not sure what is worse, the stretch marks or the stretched belly piercing from wearing a maternity bar – back in 2005 – that is one thing I would CERTAINLY not recommend!!!

The stretch marks on my stomach are less noticeable than on my thighs but in certain lights, you can see the silvery shades of them.

Bio Oil is relatively expensive for the size of the bottle but as it is an oil so a little goes a long way therefore no need to use as much as you would if it was a cream.
I tend to apply it after a bath when I am still a little damp but you do need to allow it to soak in before getting dressed as it is pretty greasy even when rubbed in.
That said, it’s very light and does not feel as though it is clogging the pores at all and does dry relatively quickly so there’s no need to plan your morning around the drying process like other products!
My only issue with Bio Oil is that there isn’t a scent; it almost just ‘exists’ so unless this really does work miracles, I do like a moisturiser that smells yummy…

To put it in the words of an 8 year old: “wow, I wouldn’t ever show my body if I looked like I had been attacked by a lion… In fact, you kind of look like a tiger… look at that stripe and that one and woah, Mum that’s a BIG one… you’re like a human tiger.”

Thank you Little Quack. You arsehole.

So I’ve been using Bio Oil once in the morning and once at night in the “problem areas” – boobs, bum, belly, thighs for around 5 months now.

Unfortunately my tits have now got to a stage where they’re bigger than my head and having to be lugged around in the most enormous hammocks known to man. I roll over in bed and pour Beard is either knocked unconscious by the falling boulder or suffocated by the sheer weight of the beasts! Poor bastard. BUT on a plus, the stretch marks aren’t looking as bad in colour, but let’s be honest – my boobs are now huge so the skin is stretched I’ve no idea what’s going on.

The tiger stripes on my thighs have dramatically decreased. Again, the very deep dark ones are still visible but not at all as they were a few months back when I first fell pregnant – they have actually faded a lot more than expected but then I am getting fatter by the minute so it’s quite likely I’m just growing back into them!

Finally, the satanic problem area of all, the ever increasing buddha belly of doom…
And as expected, sadly – the dreaded Mummy Tummy – remains a very obvious Mummy Tummy with a huge bump and lots of stretch marks there’s even some fecking new little fella’s that have popped along to enjoy the ride!?

Although it was pretty much guaranteed that I would have more stretch marks (hereditary glory) than prior to testing Bio Oil, there are a LOT more on my tummy. Despite this, it doesn’t look as though there are any deep purple stretch marks that I managed to be accredited with during the first and second pregnancies. Maybe I just got really REALLY fat those times round….

Overall, so far so good. Bio Oil really does seem to work. It’s not magic, it’s not going to give you a body like Cameron Diaz, but it’s certainly going to work with what you’ve got. And let’s face it, like they say, what you have are lines of love so learn to love them as they aren’t going to disappear…


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