Hungry Horse, Whitstable

“Hungry Horse | Big Value Pub Family Favourites.”

Hungry Horse is for hungry families with a large appetite and, according to our waitress, “a small budget”. We don’t have one locally to us, but we went to review one close to Herne Bay while visiting my Mum, and what an experience that was.

The garden area is great – there is plenty of space for kids to run around on the grass, there’s a fab play area, and there are plenty of benches for Al Fresco dining. There are also an abundance of wasps everywhere you look because food is left to sit for goodness knows how long before someone turns up looking miserable to clear the table.

We ended up running inside on a beautiful June, late afternoon, through fear of turning into Glimmer from The Hunger Games after being stung multiple times.

An hour passes after our near-death wasp experience, and our food still isn’t here. One bottle of wine between the three of us complete, the children are now climbing the walls in boredom. And we are slowly sinking into our seats from the insatiable noise and zero customer service.

After many an attempt, I eventually attract a waitresses attention who dismisses anything I have to say because,

Look luv, I deal wiv tables from fourrr ta tweneee-too, and you are on table fiftee-free. Speak to a mannajarrr.

So I speak to a manager to be told that our order was not put through the till successfully. He proceeded to explain that there was nothing on the system and requested proof of my purchase.

Usually, when asked, I decline to have a receipt. But on this occasion, I do have my receipt. Funnily enough, the waitress who doesn’t deal with numbers below 4 or above 22 had taken the order and provided me with one.

Another 40 minutes pass, yet still, no food. I contact the attention of the only teenage waitress walking the green mile of hell in the restaurant, and she agrees that service is “particularly slow this afternoon” and will check with the “cooker” to see what is going on. I think she means chef unless there is a talking oven in the kitchen. But who knows.

The manager comes back to apologise profusely, but yet again, cannot explain why our order hasn’t been put through the till and he is investigating what is going on. At this point, Austyn wakes up screaming. He wants his milk, and the joyous staff refuse to heat his bottle. We start to gather our things to leave and then, all of a sudden, our meal turns up. It’s cold and some of the chips are still frozen.

I’m pretty sure the meat was dog food. I can’t be sure. But it certainly resembled it. We left that place as quick as we could and instead got a lovely Chinese take away from Yantze in Swalecliff, enjoying it in the comfort of Mums cosy bungalow.

***I’ve saved you the nightmares of any photographic evidence due to health reasons. Well, to be honest, I was so angry and attempting to control 3 children, I didn’t even think of taking any!***